Why Do We Fall In Love

(Based on the psychology of falling in love)

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

You were walking down the street, nothing was unusual and then suddenly she came out from a nearby shop and it happened that you fell in love with her at the first sight! Huhh!! What happened?!! 

The answer is simple, its all related to how your mind works. If you are single or currently not in a relationship then your mind will always be on a hunt for your long awaited partner. Even if you think that you don't care about relationships now still you will fall in love with the first person who matches your criteria.

But why she? Why not someone else?

Each one of us has got some kind of a check list stored into his mind which includes the criteria that a person must meet in order for you to love him. If a person didn't match some of the items in this list then he becomes disqualified to be a potential partner and you will think of him as a friend. The items in your check list are of course unique and specific to you depending on your background, values, past experiences and beliefs. 

The following is an example of the first three lines of a check list of a guy called Sam. Sam is a guy and his list starts with the following three conditions:

• Item one: She must have the same educational background as mine.
• Item two: Her hair must be yellow (Sam always failed to establish successful relationships with blonds in his past and so his subconscious mind included this item in his list in order to help him compensate for his past failures)
• Item Three:She must be assertive. Sam wasn't an assertive person and since we get attracted to those who have what we need therefore Sam's mind included this item in his criteria.

If Sam is currently not in a relationship and then he met an amazing girl who has black hair then most likely he won't fall in love with her (without understanding that the real reason he didn't love her is that she didn't match his subconscious criteria).

People are usually unaware of their subconscious criteria and that's why they usually describe love as a mysterious thing that follows no rules but the truth is that when they become aware of their subconscious criteria they will be able to know why they fall in love with certain people and not others. 

Once you become aware of your own list you will know how to stop loving someone and how to make someone fall in love with you. (see how to make someone fall in love with you)

Why do some people never recover from breakups?

That's why people who think that "the one" or the "soul mate" concept never recover from breakups. Those people think that there is only one match for their criteria in this world and because they aren't aware of the fact that there are hundreds of people out there who could meet their criteria they never recover from breakups. 

In the book ¡°How to get over someone in few days¡± it says that you can fall in love with any person as long as he matches your subconscious criteria and that's why you should never feel bad after a breakup, simply because sooner or later you will find another person who matches your criteria and he may even be better than the first one. 

Does love at the first sight really exist?

Yes, it does. If someone met your unconscious criteria the same moment you saw him then most probably you will fall in love with him at the first sight. 

You might be asking yourself, how can I know that he meets my criteria while i never talked to him before? The answer is simple, the criteria might include items like the way he walks, talks or looks at you. 

This could also happen if the person's actions or looks reminded you of someone you loved before (people usually fall in love with those who are similar to the ones they loved before).

If your criteria depends heavily on looks then your chance of falling in love at the first sight will be much higher than that of a person who gives higher priority to personality or other qualities.