You hated courgettes So we re-christened them Raw Jets Because it simplified them Vegetables became word-play games Your nose would crumple on sight And your eyes would slant bitter at the corners Until your whole face appeared to have been Knotted up in someone¡¯s fist. Once Mum gave us broad bean soup (we called them bored beans) Disguised as pea We decided that we were detectives And we expelled her and her green potions So that she would not be the one to slip The concept of Health Down our unwilling throats Years later, you hated food all together So we re-christened you instead Called you anorexic To simplify the math
Of dividing calorie by calorie
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