Love is an action that is demonstrated. When two people are married or in a serious relationship, it is not enough to say, ¡°I love you.¡± The couple must provide an active demonstration on a continual basis in order for that love to be a verified force in their relational life. While it is important to say, ¡°I love you, mere words account for nothing unless carried into practice.

Verbal expressions of love will comfort the heart. However, what bonds that seed of love is a series of actions. The actions prove that love actually exists in the heart and mind and that there is an emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual commitment that goes far beyond mere profession or confession. 

When you say I love you, it is usually an indication to the person you are speaking with that you mean them no harm and that you will perform in a way as to show them that your love is true and that you are willing to give one hundred percent to the cause of actively loving them. Not only will you seek to have their best interest at heart, you will work to align your body, mind, and soul in accordance to that professed love and devotion.

Often, when there are disagreements in a relationship, or accusations fly, one or both may say, ¡°I have nothing to prove to you.¡± Yet, that is incorrect, because the very definition of the word prove is to demonstrate. To demonstrate one¡¯s love is to display it openly or publicly, to illustrate it through example, or to manifest or exhibit it. When your partner challenges the validity of your love, they are in essence questioning and examining the strength of it. At that point, it becomes your responsibility and even duty to ¡°establish the truth or genuineness of, as by evidence or argument.¡±

When your partner calls love to account, usually something has arisen to cause questions surrounding the validity of the claim of love and therefore is asking you to explain or justify your behaviour. Your mate in this case has the need for additional information to answer those questions that has arisen in their heart and mind. You then must validate your love. In other words, there is the need at that point to confirm or substantiate your claim of love which is demonstrated through the art and science of communication and through further actions which are a stronger and more effective demonstration. 

Some couples feel because they get married, that dissolves them of the duty to account for their profession of love. Yet, that too is incorrect. As it is said, ¡°Prove all things and hold fast to that which is good.¡± Actively demonstrating love is not a one time matter. It is something that must be done at regularly intervals as with eating, bathing, and sleeping, and sometimes more or less is needed depending on the circumstances.

The act of validation is a two-way street mind you; and when love is called to account, the other partner must be clear on what evidence is needed to satisfy the questions that has arisen. What constitutes adequate evidence varies from person-to-person. Therefore, communication is a vital key to arrive at an agreement and satisfying balance. For some acts of service is adequate, while for others spending quality time together might be adequate evidence. This is why it is important to deeply get to know your mate on all levels so as to understand their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs and temperaments.

As you began to move into a more in-depth experience of love and its profound impact in your life and relationship, there are four areas to explore and questions to ask yourself in the process.

1. What is Your Definition of Love?

What exactly does love mean to you and how far are you willing to go to express that love? Are you willing to grow with your partner in a life-long process, and work to meet their needs?

2. How Far Does Your Love Go?

Is your love in your heart and mind or only the genital area? Is it a temporary situation that changes like the weather or is it something much deeper?

3. What Does Your Love Look Like?

Is your relationship based only on what your mate can do for you or is there a mutual aspect to your expectations? How well do you present and validate your love for you mate? Is your love hot or cold or is it lukewarm? Do you straddle the fence with your commitment or are you firm in your resolution? How well do you serve up your love to your mate?

4. Are you a Doctor of Love for Your Mate?

How well are you meeting the needs of your mate? Do you go beyond lip profession in expressing your love? Are you prescribing what your mate needs at moment of ill-at-ease? Are you using preventative measures to avoid issues from arising, or as some say staying away from even the appearance of wrongdoing?

Marriage and committed relationships requires a substantive approach between two people who made a life long commitment; and therefore both  must be willing to make the necessary adjustments to suit their home and to protect their journey as a unit. This is why merely saying, ¡°I love you¡± is not enough. You must be willing to DO!