Á¦¸ñ | Most People Are Depressed For a Very Good Reason | ||
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ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ | À×±Û¸®½¬½Ü | µî·ÏÀÏ | 2016-12-22 |
My Great
Grandmother was born in 1904 and immigrated to America with her family shortly
thereafter. When she turned 12, her Mother forced her to drop out of school and
work twelve hours a day in a tire factory so the family could pay the bills. When she was 17, her family
pressured her to marry a man she didn¡¯t love in order to gain financial
security. Shortly after she said ¡®I do,¡¯ my Grandmother came to her senses and
demanded a divorce. Back then,
divorce wasn¡¯t as common as it is now and her demand caused a lot of controversy in her
community. No one could understand why a woman wouldn¡¯t want to be with the
nice man who wanted to provide for her and many dubbed her a strumpet. But my Grandmother
stood her ground and dissolved her marriage. However, upon returning home, her
family had decided in her absence that she must be crazy. Literally. They had her
forcibly committed to a mental institution. Mental
institutions were not the nice, clean, white places of healing
they are today. Instead, they were filled to the brim with incompetent doctors
who made snap diagnoses and ordered experimental shock treatments. Patients
often spent hours strapped down in beds and force fed drugs that made them feel
even worse. Some of them were raped, beaten, or otherwise abused. After all,
they were crazy. Who would
believe them? My Grandmother
told me all of this for the first time shortly after my 19th birthday. I had
recently found out something pretty shocking about my past (Another story for
another day, don¡¯t worry) and I went to her for confirmation because there
wasn¡¯t anyone else I could trust to tell me the truth. She did confirm what I had learned and
apologized for her part in it. Destroyed by the news, I confessed to her that I
was thinking about going into therapy. My desire for a Doctor to ¡®fix me¡¯ is what inspired her
story. When she was
finished, she said to me, ¡°All the time I spent in that hellhole, people were
constantly trying to convince me that I felt sad because there was something
wrong with my brain. But do you want to know what I really learned?¡± I leaned in
closer, absolutely absorbed by the image of my tough Grandmother who raised her
children, nurtured her (Second!) marriage, and was one of the first successful business women of her era spending
time in a mental institution. ¡°What Grandma?¡± I breathlessly inquired. ¡°I learned
that I wasn¡¯t sad because there was something wrong with my brain. I learned
that I was sad because my
life sucked.¡± Initially, I
laughed because it was funny to hear my old Grandma use the word ¡®sucked¡¯ in a
sentence. But after that, I worriedly asked, ¡°Are you saying I shouldn¡¯t seek
therapy?¡± ¡°No,¡± she
replied, ¡°I¡¯m not saying that at all. What I am saying is that you should be wary of
the Doctor who tells you a pill is a fix for your
broken mind. The way I see it, you have a lot of reasons to be sad right now.
So if that¡¯s what you¡¯re feeling, that seems about right to me.¡± Now that we
live in a culture where mental illness is so incredibly popular that you¡¯re
almost considered abnormal if you don¡¯t have one, her words ring even truer. A
lot of people nowadays seem to think that any sign of anxiousness or sadness
signifies a broken brain, and immediately upon discovery will run with their
asses on fire for their prescription of Happy Pills. ¡°My brain
doesn¡¯t produce enough serotonin!¡± they chirp. ¡°This is why I¡¯m always sad!¡± It¡¯s always
the serotonin. It¡¯s never the lousy job or the loveless marriage or the
helplessness one feels when they finally realize they¡¯ve been pressured into
living a life they would have never chosen for themselves. No, it¡¯s never that.
It¡¯s always a broken brain. Now please
don¡¯t misunderstand me here. I am not trying to lambaste psychiatric treatment
nor am I denying the existence of real, valid, medically proven mental
disabilities. I realize there are people out there who downright suffer from hallucinations, irrational fears
and compulsions, and crippling life
debilitating illnesses that wreak havoc on their lives if left untreated. I do not
fault these people for taking the drugs they need to feel better. In fact, I
applaud them. It¡¯s the
people who try to eradicate every hint of sadness and anger out of human
existence I fault. Negative emotions are a vital part of the human condition and
it isn¡¯t until we experience them that we truly appreciate the positive
opposites. In other words, one needs sadness in their lives to be able to fully
recognize happiness when they come across it. Without anger, we can never
appreciate the calm; our hatred and indifference emphasis our love. To deprive
oneself of any emotion characteristic to our nature
is to deny the very things that make us human. Our minds work the way they do
for a reason. They are not broken. Modern day
Americans are often trapped in lousy, disappointing, soul crushing careers. If
they are not divorced already, their marriages are on the rocks. They live far
outside of their means, rack up thousands of dollars of debt, and then they
work overtime to pay for the toys they never have time to play with. They
dedicate their lives to pleasing ungrateful children who won¡¯t amount to much
more than they did. Hours of their downtime is spent in front of the
television, switching from reality show to reality show, because it is easier
to watch other people live life than it is to
live their own. In a rare moment of creativity, they might write a secret out on a postcard and send it to a website because they don¡¯t have a single
person in real life that they trust enough to share their
fears with. They feel all of this on
top of the usual human
maladies of sickness, death and grief. To be
perfectly honest, I would think it was weirder if most people didn¡¯t entertain thoughts of suicide. The majority
of people aren¡¯t sad because there is something wrong with their brain. They
are sad because their lives
suck. But rather than admit
that to themselves, they run to the Doctor and beg for a diagnosis that
alleviates their personal responsibility in this regard. After all, if a man in
a white coat tells you¡¯re broken, you never have to worry about fixing
yourself. The sad reality is that they¡¯ll spend the rest of their lives
switching medications and wondering why nothing they take works and cures their
disease. Never once do they consider that the disease is their life and true healing will come once
attempts are made to repair it. If you are sad
right now, I want you to consider that perhaps there is nothing wrong with you.
Perhaps you are seeing things the way they ought to be seen. Maybe there is just
something wrong with the world right now? Instead of popping some
pills in the hopes that they will put us on a perpetual even keel, maybe
instead we should figure out what is wrong with our society¡¦and fix it.
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