잉글리쉬쌤


제목	Ignored - The Worst Feeling Ever

작성자	잉글리쉬쌤	등록일	2016-07-26

My goal the last couple years has been (like most of us) to over come my anxiety and function "normally" in society / with others, or at least get to a place where I am happy with myself and how I interact with others. But people keep ignoring me and it makes me angry, it makes me hurt. Does anyone else feel like they are ignored by those around them? Since I don't live with my family, the people who ignore me are my peers, other students, coworkers, those younger than me, those older than me... it seems like everyone ignores me! Sometimes I think I have some disability, some infection that prevents me from being heard. I used to think that I speak too quietly, and to solve the problem, all I had to do was speak up. But after getting feedback from those around me, including my therapist and peers, they say I'm actually pretty loud and they can always hear me. (I don't yell or anything). So what gives? I equate being ignored with being disrespected, so I constantly feel disrespected. Today in class... there's only a few of us in that class. Yet every time I speak up, even when I raise my hand, something goes wrong. Either they let me speak, and I'm completely ignored, or someone interrupts me, cuts me off, and forces me to shut up before I'm done. Today the class was pondering how to solve a math problem. Nobody knew how. I did. So I waited until others were done speaking, then took my turn to speak, saying "I know the answer, hear me out. The answer is X. How I got that answer is..." then, BAM, I was cut off by another student. Everyone then forgot what I said, and replied only to what he said. After 5 more minutes, another student finally "figured out" the right answer, even though I had already said it. And I know with all my heart that the class heard me say the answer. Especially the guy next to me, whose ear I was talking into! Story of my life... having great things to say (in my opinion), but never getting heard. How can someone ignore a person inches from them and keep a straight face? When I was younger, I even remember times where I would keep repeating what I wanted to say, OVER AND OVER AND OVER, yet people still ignored it. Once I was with a group of people driving to a movie theater only I knew how to get to. We got lost. Nobody asked me where to go. So I loudly said "Take the next left, go 5 blocks, and we'll be there!" Somehow, all four other people in the car ignored that, and they didn't take the left turn. So, being a little more immature back then, I began loudly repeating "Go back and turn right on Market St., go back and turn right on Market St., go back and..............................." Amazingly, they still ignored me, and eventually another person in the car "miraculously" realized we should go back and turn right. I'm sorry, but I couldn't imagine myself ignoring someone around me who was saying relevant things in a polite way. How can people be so stupid? Today hurt me a lot... especially since I'm an adult now who is supposed to just automatically get respect, or so I thought. Anyone else have experiences where what they say is oddly ignored? What am I doing wrong? Do people see me as some crazy homeless person who is just talking to himself? Do they not understand me? Nobody else in groups I am in seems to get ignored.